Friday, June 22, 2007

Collect Call From...

'wehadababyitsaboy'. OK, so we haven't had the baby yet and won't for over 4 months but I love that commercial. If you don't know what I'm talking about you're missing out. Anyway, here's a little preview of our coming attraction.

Luckily, the baby has quite some time to become less monstrous.

One little footnote on our experience at 3D BabyVu in Pleasanton, CA. I really wish they'd just tell you the sex of the baby and get on with it. Our tech was constantly identifying and circling with her mouse pointer, the genitalia of my unborn child. She even printed out a picture of the baby's bum, legs and 'parts' (with the pointer right up in there in case there was any confusion). Am I supposed to scrapbook that? I'm not a big fan of pornography, in-utero or otherwise. And I'm too embarrassed to show off the DVD they gave us because our voices are recorded, including her repetitive anatomy lesson. So, if ya happen to go to this place in Pleasanton, be warned.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Good Friends Make the Worst Goodbyes

Tomorrow we head off to our new home up in Oregon. We are finally homeowners. HOORAY! I am very excited at the prospect of living somewhere I don't plan on moving out of in a year or two. GOODBYE RENTALS!!!

Sadly, this is a bittersweet moment for me. I have never, in my entire life, had such amazing friends. Friends I'm comfortable asking for anything. Friends that share my beliefs and are living the same life that I live. Leaving them behind is the toughest part about this move. These amazing girls have taught me so much in the short time I have known them. They have shown me how to be a better mom, a better friend, and a better person. It may sound like I'm going a bit overboard and even to myself this sounds a bit mushy but there is no other way to say how amazing these women are and how jealous I am that they get to remain here with each other. We'll be back to visit but we'll miss you all in between. And you're always welcome in our home. (We'll even kick our kids out of their beds for ya!)

Thank you so much for helping me become a strong enough person to be able to take this big step toward being a real grownup.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Baby Riverdance

I couldn't let Lexie have all the limelight. So, here's our Jolly little Jumper practicing for his future Riverdance audition. It's so sad that he's already proving to be more coordinated than his big sister.

Poor Lex.


Lexie has be going to gymnastics for almost two months now. This video is from her first day. Sadly we haven't seen much improvement. Just a little taste of the silliness that goes on each Wednesday morning.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

A Few Little Picture Updates

Lex has become quite the fashionista these days. It all began when Nana bought her some colorful socks. So Lexie, always needing more than the norm, thought to herself... "Why just wear one color when you mix and (not) match?" I haven't figured out why we still match her socks when folding laundry. Naturally, she couldn't stop at the socks and that's where the shoes come in. Goodness knows, what's next?

Could he be the next Mikhail Baryshnikov?

Or maybe just the star of Robin Hood: Men in Tights,
The Next Generation

Somehow a pair of Lexie's baby tights made it onto our son.

Please don't call CPS.

Daddy and Owen.

Bonding for some of the few moments we get to see Shane in between work and the Fire Academy.

Lexie --- In the new 'Naughty Spot'.

Again... Please do not call CPS.
(She did get in on her own I swear! No children were harmed in the making of this blog.)

Mermaids & Tadpoles

Today we went swimming with some of our friends. It was definately the highlight of Lexie's day. She loves her friends. Today was also the first day she tried out 'water wings'. Anna brought a pair for Lexie and for Ella and was kind enough to show them the ropes. It took a few minutes but Lex sort of got the hang of it. We had a minor set back when Anna gave her an up-close tutorial on how to spit water like a fountain. But all in all I'd say the floaties were a success.

Owen also got a little time in the water today. He was a bit nervous at first but relaxed after a bit. He got to ride around in Kayla's frog floatie. We traded our ladybug in for the frog in order to get some more masculine pics. He's quite the tough guy these days. I couldn't find his sun hat so I rubbed sunscreen on his fuzzy little head. Nana calls him Dandilion Head. She's pretty sure if you blew hard enought all his fluff would fly away. That would be some wish you'd get to make.

These are my favorite pics from today.

Thank you Lauren for taking these cute pics! And thanks to Photoshop for helping me hide my 'wobbly bits'.

We had such a great time at the pool today. Unfortunately, as usual I sunscreened the kids and bypassed myself. There was a moment when I was putting Lexie on the edge of the pool that I noticed a happyface sticker in her hair. I couldn't figure out where it came from. Later when I got home I noticed a very white, perfect circle on my scortched shoulder. Sadly, it took an hour or so to put two and two together.

NOTE TO SELF: Always wear sunscreen while in the sun, even if it takes an extra five minutes of keeping Lexie at bay. Also, check for stickers.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

"You'll be a Man my son"

I came across this poem when I was a teenager and I spent an evening a week at my grandmother's house. We shared a love of poety and would often leaf through various books she had collected over the years or recite our favorites from memory. I loved this poem back then but when I had Lexie it meant so much more. I used to read it to her often as an infant. I eventually gave up because there just isn't a way to change the last line for a girl. So now that I have Owenski, this poem has come back to me often. It says exactly what my heart wishes for my son (and daughter). And when I read it to my children I can feel the love my grandmother has for them and I know she shares my hopes for them as well. I miss her dearly but she will forever live on in my heart and in the faces (and hands) of my precious babes.

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Thanks, Mama.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Best Costco Trip... EVER!

It may be strange that I'm taking the time to write about a simple trip to Costco but if you've ever accompanied us on one of the usual Costco outings you'll know why I couldn't help but post this. I am the mother you see in grocery stores (any store actually)with the SCREAMING toddler. Lexie will not sit in the cart and she won't hold your hand or stay near you. So I have to hold her wrist while she screams and flails as I try to continue shopping by pushing the cart, with Owen in it, one-handed. Every five minutes or so I have to stop because she has collapsed to the floor trying to escape my grasp. So I stand over her, so no one can run over her with their cart, and I wait until I can get her on her feet again. This process repeats itself many times within the shopping trip. Sometimes women stop to empathize with me and tell me of the things their kids have put them through. Mostly they just stare. They probably comment to eachother but I'm too busy pretending to be calm to make eye contact.

Anyway, the other day Lex fell asleep on the way to Costco and actually stayed asleep during the transfer to the cart and for the whole trip. It was so wonderful. I could actually look at things and I didn't get to the car and realize I forgot the milk. I still got comments but at least this time they were endearing or humorous. Can't say she was in the most modest of positions but I prefer to let sleeping dogs lie. So there she stayed until we made it back to the car and she was four times as terrible as she's ever been in a store.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Stuck Somewhere In Between

This is my high school senior portrait. It is a lovely comparison to how frumpy I'm feeling these days. I know that as far as my looks go I'm not so different as I was then. I haven't aged a ton. I'm not immensely fatter (just enough to make me feel dumpy). In high school I was not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I went to parties. I wore lots of make-up, pulled on skinny jeans and danced around in tops I wouldn't consider these days unless at a private beach. I gossipped, flirted and spent lots of time trying to get my perfect image. I had a plethera of hair products and actually did my hair. I competed with my friends and loved them all the same.

The best thing I ever chose to do in my life was to join the church. While learning about it I felt things that my heart could not deny. I found the things that I knew would make me happier than anything else I'd ever come across. I still feel that way about my church. When I look at the friends I've made that are members as well, they give me inspiration. I see what wonderful people they are and aspire to achieve even part of what they stand for. I don't want to be different than who I have become. I don't want the life I used to live because even back then I never felt like it truly fit.

Though I do not want to go back to where I left off I can't help but be envious of the friends I've left behind. I look at their websites and see pictures of gorgeous young people with exciting things going on it their lives and so many things to look forward too. I have something they don't but sometimes I think about whether or not I would choose to be ignorant if I had the opportunity to go back. I had friends, good friends, that I spent a lifetime finding and cherishing through some super fun and also some really tough times. When I joined the church I lost some of those friends. No big deal in the grand scheme of things. The ones that loved me for who I am stayed in contact. I still love them but I miss them in a way that would be indescribable to anyone that has never felt the sort of loss I have. I can still see them. With the Internet I can keep in touch and send thoughts. But I can also see what I'm missing. I can see pictures of them beautiful and laughing. I can see all the exciting places they've been. On my little web page I have pictures of my family. My gorgeous, precious family. And sometimes, I'm ashamed to say, I'm embarrassed that my life isn't as 'cool' as the ones I can peek into. Sometimes I'm angry that some other girl is standing on some houseboat or around some bonfire that could have been my spot. The friends that stuck around, I know that they love me but my heart sometimes aches because we'll most likely never be on common ground again. When they start their families I'll be prepping my kids for high school or college. It kills me to see the bored, 'let's get this over with' look in their eyes when they come to birthday parties and baby showers. I love them for coming but it almost sucks more that they come late and leave early, not because they're jerks but just because they're probably feeling as out of place as I would at one of their parties.

So I'm stuck somewhere in between two lives. I'm living the one I was meant to and missing the one that was never really mine. I won't fall into that former world but parts of it are still holding me back from the life I'm currently trying to live.

Look at my beautiful family. They are perfect. Even on the worst of days I wouldn't trade them for anything. Not even to be one of those gorgeous girls I remember. I just wish I could truly let go of the past so that I can give them all of my future. I wish that tiny lingering part of me could stop being angry that they don't see that I made the right choice so that in that insignificant way I could feel validation that I've already received from every other aspect of my life as a member.